I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
