By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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