Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the day after is always just damage control
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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