Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
this hospital has no fireball
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize