waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
dude. I can hear the air.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
