her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
