can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
