Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize