Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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