This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
