Kiss
Puke
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
