Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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