She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
