If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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