small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
