dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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