...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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