Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
