ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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