Swine flu. Run for my life!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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