the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
