He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You may now shotgun with the bride
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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