fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
