just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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