as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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