You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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