I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
