I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
