Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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