i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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