Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
