i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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