Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
