why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
