Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
