i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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