Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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