put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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