My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize