dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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