I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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