We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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