Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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