She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize