Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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