I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
