Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
