And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
