HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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