Ambien. No doubt about it.
Jerry, you need to find god
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
