can we get nightvision for the apartment?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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