No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
