she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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