Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize