**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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