Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
