i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
