i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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