So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
