as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
