My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
