please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
