Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
