i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
