Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
