i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is my gift to your gina
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
