Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
