shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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